


don't leave me tongue tied

by Nokomis



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ficlet, Flirting, M/M, offscreen doppelganger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 05:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11373189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nokomis/pseuds/Nokomis
Summary: Derek is sent on Mission: Lick Stiles for totally legit supernatural reasons.





	don't leave me tongue tied

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on [my tumblr](http://nokomiss.tumblr.com/post/162486508737/its-sterek-ficlet-time-i-found-this)

Stiles is, for once in his life, minding his own business, hanging out in his room and enjoying a perfectly relaxing sick day when Derek comes climbing in through his window. Stiles enjoys the sight, as there are some mighty fine angles of Derek Hale on display as he climbs gracefully through a window, but it’s all very unexpected.

“Hey, you know, there is a door on the house,” Stiles says, gesturing towards his bedroom door. “Want to try again like a civilized person?”

“Not now,” Derek says, and he looks -- he looks kind of like a man on his way to the gallows. 

“Did someone die?” Stiles asks, because Beacon Hills, and Derek shakes his head. 

Stiles manages to get out of the blanket cocoon he’s wrapped around himself while doing some quality internetting, albeit with considerably less grace than Derek had displayed with the damn window, and eyes Derek up. “You look like you just saw the grim reaper, dude, what’s up?”

Derek doesn’t reply. Derek instead pushes Stiles up against the wall, which is… Well. Stiles has been here before, and he’s spent a lot of quality alone time thinking about having been here before and what he would do were the situation to arise again and…

What Stiles does, to his own mortified disappointment, is let out a tiny squeak.

“Don’t make this into a big deal.” Derek’s face is grim. His hands, however, are right there on Stiles’ chest, tangled up in Stiles’ loose flannel shirt, and Stiles is pretty sure his heart is beating far too rapidly and Derek is a werewolf and can hear exactly how this is affecting him.

“Don’t make _what_ \---” Stiles begins, in a vain attempt to cover up the sound of his heartbeat, then yelps, “Oh my everloving god!” 

Which, okay, is maybe making a big deal, but Derek just licked him. Total tongue-to-skin contact. Right there, on the side of Stiles’s neck, and Stiles always thought the term weak-kneed was something made-up, but nope, Stiles is very lucky he’s crammed between the wall and Derek Hale because otherwise he might melt into a puddle of teenage lust on the floor. 

“Got it,” Derek says after a moment, and Stiles is pretty sure that his voice is just a teensy bit unsteady, and then steps back. He pulls out his phone and actually _texts_ someone, which is almost more unbelievable than the fact that he just got fresh with Stiles’ neck.

“Got _what?_ ” Stiles asks, trying and failing to resist the urge to wipe at the damp spot on his neck. He’s leaning back against the wall, his mind whirling. A lot has happened in the last twenty seconds. A _lot_. 

Derek Hale freaking licked him, for instance. 

“There’s an… incident happening at the high school,” Derek says, which isn’t any sort of answer at all. “Involving another Stiles. I had to make sure you were… you.”

“By licking me,” Stiles says blankly. “There are other methods. Don’t you have a super-nose? Or, I don’t know, you could have asked me if I was from an alternate reality… Wait. _Is the other Stiles from an alternate reality?_ Can I meet him?” 

It was the coolest thing he could think of. To think, he’d been hanging at home watching Netflix while his own evil twin made his appearance. Stiles has the worst luck.

His hand flutters of its own accord to his neck, as if to remind him that in fact, his luck sometimes was pretty spectacular.

“No,” Derek says shortly. His eyes were tracking the path of Stiles’ hand, which made him very self-conscious as he let it drift back down to his side. “And.. Lydia thinks she found the portal, and it leaves a distinct… taste. To anyone who uses it. That’s not detectable by scent.”

Derek was not normally this choppy. Stiles grins.

“So you volunteered for Mission: Lick Stiles,” Stiles says. He feels giddy, like it’s Christmas morning and he just found everything he’s dreamt of under the tree. He’s going to get to make fun of Derek for years over this. Possibly for a lifetime. He grins widely, and Derek clearly wants to facepalm.

“There was a coin toss over which wolf got which Stiles,” Derek mutters. “Scott got the more suspicious Stiles.”

“What has he been doing?” Stiles asks, mind whirling with all the things he personally would chose to do were he suddenly in an alternate dimension, and then he realizes exactly why it’s been labeled an ‘incident’ and not a ‘super fun cool thing.’ “Wait, how did you guys realize that it was an _alternate Stiles_? We aren’t the X-Men.” 

“You probably won’t want to show your face at school again,” Derek says. “Possibly ever. And after the first few hours, apparently, it was obvious that you weren’t you.”

There’s an actual smile playing at the corners of his mouth, and Stiles sinks down onto his bed, giddiness evaporating. “That bad?”

“That bad,” Derek confirms. 

“Ugh,” Stiles says, then digs a sharpie out of his desk drawer. He write “REAL STILES!!!” on the back of his hand, and says, “Well, come on. Let’s go fight fire with fire.”

The Jeep was missing when he went outside, and Stiles stares, mouth agape, before turning to Derek and saying, “The gall. The absolute gall of this doppelganger.”

“Terrible,” Derek agrees, and Stiles finds that he appreciates Derek’s low-key assholery. Stiles climbs into the passenger seat of the Camaro begrudgingly, even though it is a gorgeous car that purrs like a lion and also affords plenty of leg room. Stiles is just bitter that some Other Stiles drove his precious baby.

“I’m going to kick my own ass so hard,” he mutters, and it causes Derek Hale to give a little laugh, so Stiles is slightly less bitter. “Does my evil twin have a moustache? Wear a lot of black?”

“I didn’t actually meet him,” Derek says, “but I’m given to understand that he’s very similar except, you know, unbound by the consequences of his actions.”

“The fucker,” Stiles grumbles, still jealous. Then a thought occurred to him. “The portal-taste. It would be all over Evil Stiles’ skin, right? So why’d you pick my neck?”

Derek doesn’t answer, and Stiles thinks that his (perfect) cheeks definitely heat up a little. 

An evil twin _and_ blackmail fuel for Derek Hale. Today is fucking awesome.

By the time they get to the school, Lydia’s already sweet-talked Alternate Stiles into a portal, and Stiles is absolutely brimming with disappointment. “What if he was from the darkest timeline? What if he knew really cool things? Guys, I can’t believe you didn’t let me meet myself!”

“One of you is enough,” Derek mutters. Stiles smiles brightly at him and loves how uncomfortable it obviously makes him.

“Derek’s just sad he doesn’t get to lick another Stiles,” Stiles announces grandly. The expression on Derek’s face is almost worth not getting to meet Alternate Stiles.

No one tells him what happened at the school, not even when Stiles offers some pretty stellar bribes, so Stiles plays hooky the next day in a probably futile attempt at damage control. 

And if sometimes he does something outlandish and then invites Derek to make sure he’s from the right reality… well. Who could blame him?


End file.
